The new word of the town *OFFENDED*

Offended? Really that’s all you got ? May be you could have tried “Bored ” Or  “Tired” Or even  the F word! But , why offended darling ?

Well , this is  in reference to the latest Tanmay Bhatt CONTROVERSY. For the uninformed, this guy is a stand up comedian , who made a FUN Video about two Indian celebrities and posted it on social media. The fans of these celebrities got ” offended ” by it and want it removed. 

I really don’t know whether its real public who express their anger on such “Issues” or are they the ” Robots” we always have to prove we aren’t by entering those captchas ?? 

Because this fact is quite disturbing. No , not the existence of robots on Facebook.

But the fact that even in this age and time people got so much free time and emotions that their sentiments get hurt on  each and every joke that is ever made?

Do they Google the most silly thing present today, watch it and then get offended? 

Because ,lets make things clear first. I personally did not find the video even funny. Neither did my friends ( I made them watch it 😛 )  There was no joke .   😦
 And may be that’s the only thing i was hurt about. My expectations not being fulfilled. 

This has become a trend, specially in India. Not only in regard to this video, its just a needle in the haystack! People are using their “Right to speech” to take away other’s right to speech . 

Oh , you say it’s not Good for the society ?

Well yes. There are many things not good for the society. Unlike them , this has a solution. Don’t like it? DONT WATCH IT . Simple 🙂

Because if you were really worried about the society , you would have long gone ,thanks the heart attacks and nervous breakdowns you would have suffered.

Because you would have been hurt ,each time a girl was raped.Whether she was wearing a skirt or whether she was a 2 year old kid !

There would have been a threat to your religious sentiments, each time an innocent animal was sacrificed in the name of faith! And not when a person poked fun at some Godman.

 It would have pained you to see dirty naked little tiny kids beg on the streets in the scorching summer. And then get elated even on receiving a single rupee.

Your anger would have lost its limits when you would have come across the crores of taxpayer’s money being used by corrupt politicians for their Birthday celebrations. Not when a Bollywood movie was made .

You would have been offended when a young Indian sport-star was unable to represent his country , not for the lack of talent , but for the lack of proper infrastructure . And not when someone wore a skirt to her tennis match ..

Trust me , you would have been offended by humanity , every time you read that another bomb was dropped off in Syria or Pakistan or Palestine or  some other place. (Only that would have happened , in case you were actually aware that the world does not revolve around you  🙂 )

And since you are alive and kicking, I am sure none of this happened. There was never an outrage over any of these. Do not mention the various Tweets or Re-tweets or Facebook posts you have shared for the cause. The truth is , they DON’T MATTER . ( Heart breaking , is it ? ) 

 This only  proves you don’t bat an eye lid for the cause of the society.
You are one bored human , who wants cheap publicity by misusing other people’s names.

Calling me selfish , are you ? Well, I will take that as a compliment.  It’s better than being a dual faced hypocrite . Any day!. Try it out  🙂 


P.S
 This does not mean I support non sense humour. I just don’t violently oppose it. These people work for trps.  Dont trend them on media , they will understand and give you better jokes next time 😀 

 

The EXAM Mania

DAY 05

Yet another exam. 😓
We have all wondered at some point in our life. What is the purpose of these exams ? To test us? And how exactly do they test us by asking us to learn and produce the same information in the same words?
I am sure the person who first thought of this system of exams would have wondered too. But then he would have thought “C’mmon Every one checks knowledge. Let’s test their memory” And see he was so right.
Yes . I can explain. What is the one thing all of us buy today? Mobiles. And what is the first thing that we see in a mobile. It’s speed and it’s memory. Right?

So? Do you realise? How far sighted our forefathers were! They made us give the same test of speed and memory.
Ouch
I am sorry dear phone. For having judged you so much. And i am sorry other phones for not having bought you.☹
Thank you exam setters . Thank you. 😭
And yes one more thing. Screw you.😊😑

Let me remind you ,if it was not already crystal clear that We are Not machines. 🙆🏻
Each of us has a different capability in our own unique way.

But anyways. I am not the bashing kind. So you are forgiven. As it is , given the type you are , you are probably not reading it 😛

So lets forget the exam setters and other people. Let’s talk about ourselves.
Yeah. I am selfish. So lets talk about ourselves from my point of view 😂 ( do share yours too, please 😀)
                                       A day in the exam hall

So the instant I walk into the Hall , I remember all my Gods. Not because I want an easy paper. Or strength to write down the exams. Because I want the most lenient and lazy invigilator. 😂.
After I have found the invigilator and judged him based on his past experiences , I take my seat.
A look is exchanged among all the near and dear neighbours. Time for true brotherhood man ! 🖐🏻High five.
Trust me , if the government departments would have even half the cooperation and understanding like friends in an exam hall..each country would be a better place to live 😂😄

Fine. Bring it on . Bring on the question paper.
The first instruction. Not all questions are compulsory.
Wow. Some blessed souls we are. 😍
And then I look at the questions.
Oh. Not all questions are compulsory , because I won’t be able to attempt the remaining 5 too.
So you need not answer all the questions. You can just laugh and laugh again at the little game played by the teacher. Laugh till you cry. Because eventually you will.
😝
Now there I am with the question paper. As I start attempting I hear someone call me. My friends need me . I must go . I check out the angle of the face of the invigilator and turn to my friend. You have to be real quick at this. Q4 he asks. Back to paper. Oh yes i know it. I turn back my face to help the needy.
Now I don’t know if you have faced the same situation too , but every time I am about to open my mouth to either tell the answer or ask a question the billion dollar question hits me bang on. ” Should i shout? Or should I whisper? Will my voice echo??😳”.

It’s a life saving decision you need to take in a matter of seconds. Hopefully it’s the right choice you make so that you don’t have to repeat yourself.

And so an hour passes. I look around. Every one is busy . Some are racing with their pens. Others with their mind.
Ahh this cruel mind.😏
It makes sure it doesn’t drop a chance to not wander. Thoughts. All kind of them pop up in my mind. Doing exactly what I don’t want them to. So sometimes I will be humming a song I last heard. Or checking out guys and the dresses of girls. Man! Some girls do maintain their fashion sense even during exams😂
65d5b19a53961995067a096136e34e99
It’s the voice of some one that startles me and brings me back to reality. Mostly the squeal of the invigilator.
I rush back to the next question.
And I don’t know how weird or normal it is. But I completely forget the answer once I start writing it. It comes back in phases 😂
Then comes the most certain question. Obviously from the portion of syllabus you left. 😒
I look at the question. I knew it. I wouldn’t know the answer. But a guess sometimes works 😂😛

Slowly we move on to the last phase of our exams. The “last 30 minutes remaining”phase.
You know there are times when you exactly know what you are doing? 😊
Yes. This is definitely not one of those. 😂
I have no idea how many more questions remaining. Or what I thought i would frame their answers like.
The last 30 minutes bro!🖖🏻
You don’t think. You just vomit albeit with a pen, on the paper, trying your best to make it a legible and recognisable collection of words.
Often I think, it’s not being the most studious that helps you in an exam.( You are the most disturbed and disturbing fellow present though 😂). It helps if you are ambidextrous. 💪🏻
My knuckles are literally crying after today’s exam 🙄😂

Finally the 30 minutes over.
But actually no exam is over until there is that one guy or girl in the hall who goes “Mam please one minute more. Sir just last line.”.
And the others staring at them like “Was there so much to write? “😛

Then you come out of the examination Hall. You face a different kind of exam here. The reality. Because how hard you try not to , people will discuss. And they will make you realise that your answers are wrong. And that you screwed up😂😂😂

Sigh!
Oh wait. How I did forget to mention that one cool guy😎 who walks out of the examination Hall an hour before.
It sometimes hurts to see how lucky the people are who have given up on these worldly possessions 😂😂😂😂😂

Well this is how my experience is about… on a typical exam day in a typical Indian college or school.
I am sure your experiences would differ. Do share your opinions.There is no right or wrong here after all 😀

P.s Click here to be redirected to IBMC Challenge Page 

5

Silly Billy!

Is it me or does someone  else actually make this face ” -_-” , ( yes, exactly like that ) when people ask you statements with a question mark at the end ??

Statements end with a full stop. Have i gone nuts?

No I haven’t . These other people have.

The people who ask you such obvious questions , that you don’t know, whether you are actually  supposed to answer it OR just ignore it OR do “Hain???” (O.o ? )

e76682c5f087b45ae9c5380f1f64e5bd
UMM…Is that a trick question ???  :O

So as i sit down and think of these SILLY BILLY QUESTIONS , I  came up with answers , not every one will be  HAPPY to hear :P.

239150296e22c2e757a8c4f760bfb2e7
But as far as i am concerned, it would at least give me Satisfaction 🙂

  • So you go to this restaurant with your family, all decked up , looking for a place to sit and there comes the waiter . ” Sir/Mam, DO YOU NEED A TABLE?”
    Well , no , obviously, I don’t . The flooring of the place is very intricately designed. Can we have a carpet for 4 please . Please . 🙂 🙂 🙂 :):)
  • You are somewhere. Could be anywhere. Along comes another human and mistakenly steps on your toe. *Ouch*. “I AM SORRY. DID THAT HURT?”
    Oh, no, it didn’t. If cotton balls fell on my feet, they would hurt. Your pencil heels/ sturdy shoes..NO , of course they didn’t  ^_^. It feels so soft actually.
  • You come back to home sweet home. The person who opens the door is smiling all the way “OH.HAVE YOU COME ?”.
    Have I ? I don’t think so , must be my spirit at work again ! i am still on my way home. Never listens to me. Running around always! -_-
  • And now that you are home , you take out food, sit down and just start devouring on the delicacies ” OH! ARE YOU EATING ? ”
    Puff.. NO! I don’t eat. I am practising magic .Its a trick . I can make food disappear. This is ain’t ‘eating’ . yeah!
  • You have a nice bath . All freshened up , you come out draped in your robe. “OH,HAVE YOU HAD A BATH?”
    Nooooo… Why would you think so ? Its the Hydrogen and Oxygen molecules reacting. 1:2 something . Me? I am just the catalyst  😉
  • Shopping in the mall , picking out clothes and there is always that one long lost friend who comes across “OMG. How long its been. SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”
    Hi!..yeah its been some time. Well, nothing much, I come here to listen to the music .Not only does the FM has great signals here, the playlist of the store is awesome too. Although , I always notice , people shopping here , like always. Who does THAT in a shopping mall!!!! Right?? O.o
  • And this one is my all time favourite !!!!
    7db38e7f66f4e32d3670f9d17b685499Go on , share your Q and A’s . 😛

 

 

To Deal with THE STUPID

Welcome back Dumasaphobics 😉 . 

If you don’t know/remember dumasaphobia, do check out this link first  – The FEAR of THE STUPID

As promised , here i am ,with tips to effectively deal with the stupid

And like every other thing there is a list  of the do’s and the don’ts .

Seeing and feeling ,  the intensity of the problem , I will not refrain you from taking actions in your defence. Therefore there is a very small list of the don’ts

  • Don’t kill them. 

That’s it.

If  you are any bit like me , then I understand that the very first instinct is to pick up the object nearest to you (from a flower vase or a knife to even a handbag ) and take away their right to life , which they have been clearly misusing. 

murder (1)

However all peace you attain would go in vain, since you will now have to go to jail.

So well ,it would be stupid (oops!) of you to take this step!.

While we are on the topic of killing things, I have read at a lot of places and been advised a lot to beat these people at their own game with their own rules .  This could mean killing the rude stupids with kindness and  killing the dumb acting stupids with higher levels of dumbness.

Although this does sound really fun and interesting and also satisfying at some levels , it can really backfire in case of ultra stupids on the other side! With quite an experience of dealing with them I  can say that after a while , they start to enjoy it and you are left with feeling of being used again and again.

Well then with the most easiest and satisfying option done away with , what are the possible DO’s that MUST be followed. 

  1. ACCEPT –
    The first step to solve any problem in life is acceptance. Accept that these people are stupid. That you can not do anything ,any damn thing about it . That God has been unfair to them  or to you , what ever is easier to accept!  Understand the situation in hand .
  2. SMILE .-
    Like literally, keep those lips curved right up , always. Onto their face.
    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 :).
    Inside , you maybe tearing up like THE HULK , but outside you remain a sweetie pie, the harbinger of happiness.       🙂    🙂 .
    bitch
    People will call you fake , but remember it is for the society’s good . When their actions fail to have a reaction , gradually the actions will also fail .
  3. I.G.N.O.R.E
    The most golden words ever said on this planet are definitely “Ignorance is a bliss ” . Yes it is difficult but not impossible . Accept that the person is stupid , but refuse to acknowledge them.  Their could be a zillion other things to think about at that time like the colour of your nail paint ,  the weather conditions and how the Met Dept always gets its prediction wrong. You can talk to unicorns if you want.
    But just don’t pay attention to the stupid acts going around you .
    you don’t want to go crazy .
    Your life is precious after all.
  4.  IF YOU MUST , TALK FACTS –
    In case you do have to discuss and talk and adjust with the other side , then refrain yourself from discussing opinions .
    Because to them , not only do your opinions don’t matter but facts , figures and reality are also equally useless
    . -_- .
    Follow the principle to only talk facts and only listen to facts . To ensure no arguments further, keep Google available.jellyfish.jpg
  5. INTRODUCE TWO OF A KIND
    It is very rare that you find only one of their kind in any place. Go ahead .
    Be the matchmaker .
    Let the like repel like.
    Let there be decreased net stupidity.
  6. PLAY ALONG
    Now this is real fun. “Mirror , Mirror on the wall Who doesn’t want to be the mightiest of all ? ” No one.
    Well , then what better way to de throne the kings and queens and princes and princesses of Stupidity than being more stupid than them ?
    Come on , Play along a bit.
    Play stupid once and then back to normal and back to stupid again .
    Drive the stupids to a level of confusion ,they can’t attack from  😛

 

Well , this is all the gyaan i have to share.
Please feel free to give your opinions and advice for the sake of the DUMASAPHOBIC Society  😀 😀 !!