Scared and Disturbed

After a pretty usual day of attending classes and gossiping around with my friends, i finally tuck myself into my bed. Like every other night i make promises to myself about how tomorrow i will get up and change the world. And like every other day, deep down i know i will wake up barely before class and the only thing that I will change is my PJs. As I laugh and crib over myself,i pick my phone and start surfing social media to stalk and judge every body i know, when i come across something that breaks my heart and shatters my soul. I wipe my tears away as i get up and sit upright. No i didn’t come across the news of my crush’s new love interest. Neither was it the death of my favourite celebrity. As i now type this, i so hope it was one of the above. 
I had actually stumbled upon this news article about the rape of an 8 month old girl, by her 28 year old drunk cousin, in the national capital of the world’s largest democracy, my Bharat Mata.

Now this is not the first time I have read such a news. The latest available statistics are pretty grim already. 106 women were raped daily in 2016. A UN Committee on the Rights of the Child in 2014 said one in three rape victims in India was a minor. More than 19,000 children were raped in 2016.

Some one, adult or minor, is probably being raped now as I write and another one as you read.

What was new then?

Well, for the first time I somehow wondered could this baby have been someone i know? Is it possible it was my darling niece, my whole extended family dotes upon? Could it possibly be my own daughter in a few years? Could it have been me years ago? Could it be me tomorrow?

And each time I gave myself an affirmative response, each time my heart let out a shriek and my eyes swelled up more.

Anyone of you who reads this will on the first instance just shirk it off and tell me I am thinking over unnecessarily. And my mother might even make me keep some fast and force temple visits to undo the bad thoughts i have thought.

But nothing will change the fact that I am scared. Aren’t you?
Even if we are the few blessed ones, who will never be a victim ,what about this 8 month old baby who was raped?
All the talks and debates about the possible “causes” of rape are hollow in this case.

Was she probably giving wrong hints?

Could her loud tear jerking cries when her cousin tried to penetrate her , possibly be pleasure moans?

Was it her karma , maybe of her past births?

Or like many great leaders of our time have pointed out every time, it was probably her modern and western sense of fashion and clothes- her diaper was too short it seems.

Why else would a grown up man think it was okay to rape her? Why else would he think that it is okay to let the baby remain in her own pool of blood and walk off after he did his business?
Why else would he think that it is okay for him to even exist on this planet and be blessed with this gift called life?

Yes, now that this case has come to limelight , the public outrage will ensure he gets his share of punishment. But will his punishment make everything okay? Is this justice?

Months ago, the #metoo movement on Facebook had got people to sit up and take notice. Sexual Harassment was something every girl around us faces in such frequency that it has for us become a part of our daily routine. Itna to chalta hai.
Okay, the question then is kitna nahi chalta?
What is the point after which we feel, that limit has been crossed?
No, don’t answer me. It is not the limits i am concerned about.
Whatever be the limits, what are we doing to ensure they are not crossed for us, our friends, our family and anyone else for that matter?

Doesn’t your blood boil, each time some “leader” gives out statements blaming western culture for bad influence and in the same breath claiming that men are men, and such little mistakes and incidents are bound to happen?
Our elected politicians, our revered god-men and the chaar log we have always heard about will speak and do what they will, not what is right.

Maybe now is the time for us, you and me, the educated class of this society to put our foot down , speak up and take the right steps.

We all know the basic rigour to solve a problem. Accepting there is a problem. Understand the underlying causes. Working on these causes to solve the problem . Now that we all are well aware of the problem, let’s try and find the reasons behind it. 

The irony that discussing about sexual intercourse is something that is looked down upon by the society and yet, all of us are expected to have sex and produce kids by this very society, could be a possible starter for discussions.

The fact that all our movies, television shows and even advertisements are objectifying women as sex baits to sell themselves, drives home the point about how sick our mentality is.
You can probably count on your fingers the number of daily soaps, that do not have a plot revolving around men fighting for that one woman, whose only part in the show is to look pretty and safeguard her virginity.

Isn’t that all women are for, after all?

At this point of time i am completely clueless, scared, disturbed and on a lookout for answers.

I want to know what people around me, with the best of education and family support think are the causes of such rapes?

Why is our national capital casually referred to as the “Rape Capital”?
How does a human being , in all his right senses even think the thought of raping another human being, let alone a child or an infant?
An 8 month old baby barely knows how to sit up right and someone is willing to satisfy themselves out of that so called little bundle of parent’s joy! 

I want to know when and how and why did our society turn so wrong that this is “yet another incident” and not an one-off incident. When and how and why did we get so accustomed to reading about brutal rapes ,without expressing shock anymore? 

Allow me to be selfish, for I want to know how I , a woman with a fully developed body, a woman who wears jeans and skirt, a woman who needs to travel day in and out for her job , will be safe when even these teeny tiny kids are not spared?

Is it all a merely the play of good and bad luck?

Everyday i step out of my home, should I just hope that I won’t be raped, is that all I can do?

IS THAT ALL WE CAN DO?

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Beauty is a state of mind.

DAY 06 ! Plus my first try at fiction writing 😀

Tring tring the bell rang.
She leaped out of her bed.
Baba had already picked up the phone. With knots in her stomach she tried to hear the conversation.
“Hmm”. “Okay”. “Okay”.”No”. Cut. “These salesman today” Baba stomped out of the room.
Oh it was the salesman after all. She went back to her bed again. Closing her eyes she hoped her dream would continue. Of course it didn’t. She was now just laying in her bed , imagining things and rewinding her memory.

Her marriage had been fixed. She had only heard his name. But a name was enough for her to dream. To make plans. And in these plans she even defeated the cheesy Bollywood movies. Day night all she could think of was him.
He had called her last week.
They had talked. He had talked. Told her to meet at the river side this weekend. She had just smiled and agreed.
No Baba wouldn’t know about it. It was her first date . Fathers don’t need to be told about it.

The d day was here. She was getting ready. And with every passing moment she was getting sad.
Each time she looked at her reflection she let out a sigh. Why was she so dark? Why wasn’t she as fair as the other girls. Why was she not beautiful?
And slowly her thought process worsened. What if he doesn’t like her? What if he rejects her?
Oh she panicked. She tried all creams and she tried all remedies.
Nothing would work.
She was still dark. Ugly.

All her dreams came crashing down. The castles she had built, she broke them all. Herself. She didn’t want him to do that. She couldn’t bear someone else do that.

With tears in her eyes and lost hopes she went to the river side. The sun was about to set. Why was he not here yet?? Had he already rejected her?
He could have met her once at least. She was black on the outside. Not inside .

“Sana” called a voice from behind. She had heard that voice before. Butterflies stormed in her stomach.
She turned around.
It was him. Her eyes sparkled but her brain reminded her of the reality that was about to happen.

task-6

They started walking on the beach. Talking. Smiling. They even laughed once.
Oh. So he doesn’t want me to feel bad. He will tell me at the end of the meeting today.

To her surprise he didn’t.
Not this meeting.
Not after any meeting .

And with so many beautiful meetings finally came the day of marriage.

She didn’t want to be heartbroken after this.
She decided to ask him straight.

She called him on his telephone. “Why are you marrying me? I am ugly. I am dark. Why?”.

For an instant , the other side went blank. And with a slight smirk came the reply.
” Do wear the lehenga I have selected for you.” Cut.
Sana couldn’t bear to see the lehenga. She didn’t want to be left at the altar. The lehenga would be so pretty.

Still,the evening came.
The lehenga came. Red and green it was.
A note was there too.

I was in search of skin
Bright or dark, fat or thin
I wanted someone who felt through her heart
You, my dear, have that art.
Who said you are not beautiful?
My brain looses its senses on your one look.
You have a dusky complexion my dear
Why is that wrong I fear!
Your eyes sparkle when you talk
And oh your playful walk

I want to marry you and not your colour.
Its the souls that will be together forever.<3″

Sana was numb. She looked at her smile in the mirror. The billion dollar smile. Oh yes her eyes were sparkling.
Her face was glowing and it was not because of some creams.

Yes she was beautiful. And his love only made her prettier. 🙂

P.S : Click here to be redirected to the IBMC Challenge Page 
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Thoughts…

DAY 03 : IBMC #03- Risk for a random challenge 

The terms of the challenge : It’s a challenge to see how random can you be. Write ten sentences where there is no connection to each other. Go as random as you can get.

Well, Challenge Accepted. 😉 :D.

Random sentences , yet connected. Go on have a deep thought 🙂

April 1 is celebrated as Fools day. The neighbour’s door bell had rung twice. As I tossed and turned in bed, the clock struck 3. There were 4 people in the family. 5 years of marriage is not long , but  five years of compromise ..definitely .Snoopy had given birth to 6 puppies just yesterday. 7 days and a week is over, yet again. The 8th month would mean the third trimester and soon it would all end. Kids grow up so fast , baby Kia would turn 9 this year.
The Marriage was held in the summer of April 2010.

 

P.S
Click here to be redirected to the IBMC page .

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She…

Women’s day it is!!!! Have a happy day ladies :* ❤

This post is dedicated to my lovely darlings Ayushi , Mini and Vyomika . We talk every day, we have been through so much and yet here we are still going strong .

Like all women do. Every time. Every age. Every where.

So although i am not a poem person and write only cute little rhyming words ( yep like those nursery rhymes 😛 ) , here are  few sweet little lines about “She..” . You ,me and every other girl out there.  🙂 🙂

Her nature , her attitude and her style

Her eyes ,her hair and that beautiful smile

Her simplicity and she herself , captivated people’s heart

She understood them all like their other part..

Neither selfless..nor selfish..she was one of a kind

Imbibed in her was a golden heart and a serene mind

family..friends..relationships were what mattered

Each time a lesson was learnt and all of her was shattered

She was strong enough to start again

Realising that all the tears will go in vain

Do not get attached to anything is what she felt was true

Life was not as glittery , she did not even have a clue

Her infinite thoughts made her wear the ‘over-thinking’ crown

She believed she would sail through but would always drown

Yes,she was not perfect ,she had her  flaws

But that’s what made her who she was

She was happy and she deserved that shine

 At the end of the day, everything was meant to be just fine  🙂  

IMG-20150908-WA0002
This smile ^.^ ❤

 

 

P.S : Yes, its childish. But hey , Its  Women’s day . Don’t complain 😛 😛